Too Late for Larry

Witch Therapist

How to end a relationship

"Amy, this joke has gone far enough!

You've had your fun.

Now for god's sake,

lift me up out of this box,

away from that giant shoe

change me back!"

"You're such a bossy little shoe"

"Man! I'm a Man and you know it!"

"Not from where I'm looking-

tell you what wussy, why don't I just cover

you're little shoe box home with the lid

and give you some alone time

to appreciate you're place in life little shoe?"

"Noooooooooo!!!"

.

I swear Anthony,

you had better stop crying before the stewardess hears you

and realizes you're my boyfriend and not just a normal purse!

But this is so HUMILIATING Brenda,

You carried me through the airport hanging on your arm,

That's how women carry purses

You stuffed me full of your belongings- I'm carrying your TAMPONS!

Where else am I supposed to put them?

I'm riding stowed under a seat!

You're lucky I didn't pack you in my suitcase!

I'm warning you- keep being a wuss

and I'm going to dump you in the first good will bin I see!

"Well Edgar, you wussy, I guess this is goodbye.

I'm sorry that I wasn't exciting enough for you

and I'm glad my magic powers could grant you your fondest wish-

I'm just surprised you wanted to become a DRESS!

I know you wanted to be my dress,

but that would just be too painful for me so..

I've decided to leave you here in this store

where some other woman will buy you and enjoy wearing you."

"Hmmmmm! Not bad!

At first I thought a real woman like me

would not be caught dead with a wussy guy like you.

I mean, You begged me to turn you into a girly little BRA!

But now I see that youre a much better BRA

than any I've ever worn..

You may have been a spineless freak

but now youre mine forever!"

"Jeez! You really were a girly man!
I cant believe how long you've been crying!
Just be a man !
Accept that I turned you
into a strappy red high heeled shoe
and get ready to be worn!"

"Please Trisha... dont let it end like this.."

"Shhhh Johnny! I'm trying to help you!"

"But you've taken away my human life,

you've turned me into some sort of clothing..."

"A designer top- and you look great!

Just be quiet while I hang you on this rack..."

"but I dont want to be someones clothing!"

"Please!

You werent man enough to be my or any girls boyfreind

- at least now you can serve a woman well"

"But.. but...mmmpphhh mmphhhh!!!!....."

"But dont you think it's mean of us to just leave him there in the store?

I mean the shop girl has no idea he was a man-

She's going to sell him like any other shoe -

some girl is going to own and wear him!"

"He's a shoe now- thats his purpose right?"

"I suppose, but we know he was human, that he had a life...

what sort of existence will he have now being , a ladies shoe?"

"Who cares? - lets go get lunch"

"Whimperrrrrrrrr!"

"You were the one that wanted to try being my lipstick you fricking jerk! What did you think? you'd lay around my purse for a month? I decided to just use you up all at once and be done with you - Enjoy the rest of your wussie existance where you belong - IN THE DUMP!"