" Don't be so scared Roger!

A purse your size can easily hold all this chick shit.

"MMmphhhhhh mmmphhh..."

Who knows?

You may grow to like holding all this girly stuff inside your body...

I bet youre going to be a good little handbag .. arent you?"

"Whimperrrrrrrrr......."

look- youre on TV!

" well.....I think it's all over for me. They chanted their chant and lit their candles and doused me with some sort of liquid... and now they're all sitting over there, not even looking my way... It must have worked... they must have changed me into one of their purses.. I'm lying on a table between two other handbags, I must be one of them... And I feel all bloated on the inside, like I'm filled with objects... and I smell perfume.. on me.. "

"I guess I will never be human again... sob!! .. I'M SO HAPPY!!"

"Stop squirming George, You knew I was going to bring you to work and hang you up on the rack with all the other pretty BRAs when you asked me to change you."

MMMFFFF! MMPPHHH!!

"Be a man! You asked me to help you get to know women better so I changed you into an adorable lavender BRA...You ought to be thanking me!

MMppphhh! MMRRRRRR!!!!

"Fine! Be that way! Now I'm gonna hang you all the way in back... and I'm not coming to get you when my shifts over! Enjoy your new life Bra boy!"

"See? that wasnt so bad was it? You spent the entire day on my foot and nobody suspected that you were ever anything more than my shoe"

"Heh! Yeah! that was an interesting day...so now youre going to change me back right?"

" Well I was going too, but your such a comfortable shoe, and you're so pretty..."

"What? NO!"

" I'm just going to use the spell of silence, That way you wont be tempted to speak, and make you a shoe forever. Congratulations! you're free of the rat race! Enjoy your new home with the rest of the shoes in my closet"

"MMMPFFPHH!!!"

"And your going to stay as my freakin pocketbook for as long as i freakin say so get used to it"

"Heh heh! He looks so real! Just like a Prada, and not a knock off either"

"The thing I'm liking best is that he has to look up at us..Cause he's my freakin pretty little girlie purse and he's all filled up with my stuff and hes gonna hang from my elbow and match my freakin high heeled shoes!"

"And then the magician said the words and his wand thingy just burst into flame! He looked lost! "

"He apologized up and down, took my number and handed Jim to me, He said he was going to get to the bottom of what went wrong, and that he would be in touch soon."

" And Jim is still a BRA! A pretty Pink BRA ... that looks like it's my size, and if I wanted too I could just change my phone number..."

Blonde- Excuse me miss, I've come to pick up my husband, I've decided he's been here long enough and that he's learned his lesson.

Brunette- Im sorry madame but we have a strict no return policy.

Blonde-But I have his reciept right here, now if you will just change him back, we can be on our way.

Brunette- Im sorry Madame but once we transform someone into one of our shoes they become our work of art, our property.

Blonde- But...

Brunette- I do know of a way you can be together, have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a gold pump? I could have you two reunited and in a shoebox ready to be sold in just a few moments!

Blonde- No, thats ok. - sigh - I dont suppose you have any purses he would match?